We should probably start in High School. I graduated in 1997, from a small town, my class was the biggest at the time with 216 graduating students.

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I was known as the fat girl in school. The one that couldn't have friends because noone wanted to be seen with me. Well OK I did have a couple friends, we were pretty much the outcasts I guess you could say. One was gay, one couldn't keep her pants up and one already had a child by 9th grade.

The thing to do in our small town was the drag on Main, every Friday and Saturday night, the same 2 mile stretch of Main and 3rd. Well when you don't have enough gas to do that, you pretty much stay at home

Nirvana and Pearl Jam. Soundgarden and Stone Temple Pilots were all the rage, we all dressed grunge (well I did anyway, Flannel shirts over nothing but t-shirts and jeans )

The issues started when I of course thought a guy was cute no one needed to know but the girl that couldn't keep her pants up thought it was best to inform him of this and then the rumors started. I was 'friends' with him as in we'd talk in class, I'd been to his house quite a few times (nothing ever happened in any way shape or form), so when the rumors started that he and I had sex, well of course then he couldn't talk to me. My world (as I knew it then ) fell apart. Depression set in and I don't think it's really ever let up.

Yes I know you are reading this thinking "ah typical teenage angst", no for me it was more. I had a need to be accepted. When you're overweight and all the kids ridicule you, you find ways to fit in somewhere, anywhere. . . .

I guess I will have to continue this in another post, it's time for my little one's doctors appointment.

Until Then I Leave You With. . . .